Wednesday, May 12, 2010

stop looking around

Sometimes, when I'm writing, I think "oh yeah this is real good" and I'm conveying the message and all that bullshit.

But then I have to... I just HAVE to sneak a peak around the internet. I just HAVE to hit a post form someone else. And then it's all just pen on paper.

Wasted ink and wasted time.

Look at what THEY got across. Look at that shit. I can't do THAT. I didn't think of THAT. THAT's exactly how I feel. Why didn't I think of THAT. THAT is real nice.

Then I stop writing.
I sit back in silenced awe and yeah, sure, a whole fucking lot of bitterness and jealousy.

I am so worthless.
My talents do not rest here.

Monday, May 10, 2010

Crippled Sad

I write better when I'm angry... but this? This sinking sadness? This is too much.

My pen can't even stand straight enough to punctuate.

I can't even describe this in words. That's how fucked up you make me feel.
Not having the words.
It's laughable.
Only not even close.
You've broken me past my worst.
I didn't think that was possible.
I know, now, to never say so.
Things have, and always will get worse.
Thank you for showing me the light.

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