Friday, August 28, 2009

And time only sets it deeper


It burns and foils only the sweetest of memories, forever landing those thoughts in a whirl pool of sorrow and pain.
For moments I wandered, leaves rustling, curling beneath my feet, trying to figure it all out.
Once while I stood there, knee high shrubs burying my shoes, I thought of you. The sky a dark, swirling grey, setting the mood swing I was in, to let that thought go was near impossible.

Of all the petty things I've done, as I stood in the darkness, as my tears overwhelmed my sight, I knew this was, unmistakeably, the worst."

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

death makes me strong


The only thing certain in life is death.

The 100% of it is what scares me and the reaction is what breaks my heart.

I sat there, holding your trembling hands, wishing I could ease your pain. Wishing I could kiss away very tear streaming elegantly down your rose flushed cheeks and make everything back to the way it was only moments ago. Wishing that your head didn't have to be pressed against my neck in fear and sorrow but in love and romance. Wishing that your legs were too weak from a day of running, laughing, playing, not from the words you had just come to hear. Wishing that for just one moment you could smile again, tell me everything was OK again, love the world again. but I could not.

And as I sat there, now cradling your shaken body in my arms, my own tears mixed with your hair. As I know, one day, I might make you feel this way. As I know, one day, I will die.

This is what makes me strong. I will not let myself leave you. I stay strong for you, but I will not let you leave me without following soon after."


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