stop looking around

Sometimes, when I'm writing, I think "oh yeah this is real good" and I'm conveying the message and all that bullshit.


But then I have to... I just HAVE to sneak a peak around the internet. I just HAVE to hit a post form someone else. And then it's all just pen on paper.


Wasted ink and wasted time.


Look at what THEY got across. Look at that shit. I can't do THAT. I didn't think of THAT. THAT's exactly how I feel. Why didn't I think of THAT. THAT is real nice.


Then I stop writing.
I sit back in silenced awe and yeah, sure, a whole fucking lot of bitterness and jealousy.


I am so worthless.
My talents do not rest here.

Crippled Sad

I write better when I'm angry... but this? This sinking sadness? This is too much.

My pen can't even stand straight enough to punctuate.

I can't even describe this in words. That's how fucked up you make me feel.

Me.

Not having the words.

It's laughable.

Only not even close.

You've broken me past my worst.

Again.

Congratulations.

I didn't think that was possible.

I know, now, to never say so.

Things have, and always will get worse.

Thank you for showing me the light.