Miss You Miss

When you lose a friend, you don't see them. You get over it. But when you lose a sister, you see them. But they aren't really there.

When I see you, I don't.

I see memories that

haunt me into dreaming

things were how

they used to be.

I need to come to

terms with the fact

that you're lost.

You're not coming back.

That when I see you, I can't."

Freedom

The most wonderful thing in the world just happened. Just now.
Just now, I felt nothing.
I mean, the more I think about it the more I feel the pain you've made me endure these past few months but for one moment, just now, I saw you.
I saw you and I felt nothing.

I'm free.

Xk

Not So Amazing

And I don't know what to do now.

You were supposed to be my amazing grace, the one to save me. The one I found, the sweetest sound, but now I'm lost and I can't see because you're gone and left without me.

Xk

found someone's wings

Found an unclaimed angel who came only to my knees when I visited some relatives on Easter.

You never realize how much you miss someone until you visit their grave...

also found on HERE

Xk

Choices Made

suicide isn't always the answer for everyone.

Just know
that when I left you
it broke my heart.

And I know
that doesn't make sense.

And I know
that isn't very fair,

but

life's not fair.

Which is what you're crying
right now.

I'm crying too
right now.

I was trying to help.

I'll be dead soon anyway.

And you'll hate me for leaving you.

When all I was trying to do was escape
the fact that you couldn't save me.

I didn't want to see you fail."

Xk

Stranger's Tears

You know how they say "these are tears of joy"?

Well I've cried for a lot of things lately.
All I've lost,
all I don't have,
all I'll never have,
things I can't take back
and things I have or had no control over.

I've never had these so called "tears of joy".
Until tonight.
I cried for possibilty.

And that scares the shit out of me.

Passion MIA

That blinking line on the blank page keeps telling me to, but I just can't find it in me to write like I used to.

And I'm a little more than heart broken.

loss of muse.
loss of reason.
loss of friends.
loss of life.

I'm lost, please help me find me again."

Xk

Future X

"You're getting married, huh?"

"Yep."

"You know what that means."
"What?"

"Divorce."

Xk